"Fake it till you make it" Is Terrible Advice
And Kissinger has bad breath...
An aphorism in the #girlboss culture that I used to cling to like my beloved skinny jeans, was “fake it till you make it.”
The idea being that in moments of insecurity, or when trying something new, we should embody the persona of someone that has, indeed, done it. First time presenting before executive leadership? No problem, put on your favorite pair of heels (yes even on a Zoom call), sit up tall and act as if it’s NBD.
“Been there, done that.”
The problem, I learned, is that imitating confidence and competence (despite wearing high heels), doesn’t actually solve the problem, which is, you’re facing something you’ve NEVER DONE before.
Early in my career, I was scheduled to interview Henry Kissinger on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, to celebrate 30 years of diplomatic relations between the US and China. All the other television networks had turned down the interview, in favor of the sexier Gazprom/Ukraine pipeline crisis.
So there I was, all 24-years of life experience trembling beneath my favorite emerald green power suit, hair in a perfectly coiffed blond bob amidst the quiet roar of the trading floor, desperately trying to manifest gravitas for the truly infinite 5 minutes I was allotted for the live television interview.
Kissinger was, in fact, very hard to understand, with a thick German accent that my college course on international relations did not adequately prepare me for.
I wish I could remember what I asked him, but I do not. I was so wrapped up with wanting to appear competent before this revered diplomat, that I didn’t hear the insights and anecdotes he shared. Which is a shame, because how often do we get the opportunity to grill controversial world leaders?
Sure, I delivered as the polished, professional that I was hired for. But dammit, it was a boring-ass interview. What might the experience have been like if I’d gone in with the giddiness of a recent graduate interviewing someone she’d spent semesters studying? What might I remember about that moment if I’d allowed my curiosity to drive the questions, instead of needing to prove something, just to feel like less of an imposter? What a waste.
Time has taught me that there’s something really special about being a beginner at something, and owning it; in learning to ditch the pretense and go all in on the experience.
By the way, the most memorable part of that interview with Kissinger?
His breath. I’m still proud of keeping a straight face on international television with wafts of dying bacteria two feet from my face. Yes, I went there. 🙄
I’ve been on a bit of a writing hiatus this winter (and I can’t even blame epic amounts of snow shoveling). More on that later, for now I’m stoked to be back! Special thanks to for the edits and encouragement.
3 Things That Caught My Attention This Week:
🎧 The Complete History & Strategy of Hermès: “In luxury there’s Hermès, and then there’s everyone else.” If you’ve never listened to the podcast Acquired, this is a banger of an episode to start with. It’s ridiculously long, but if you’re obsessed with good storytelling and history, you won’t want to miss this. From Napoleon to #quietluxury this has it ALL.
📷 Female Climbers: A Manifesto: From handbags to hand holds (what can I say 🤷🏽♀️ I’m a woman with diverse interests) this post from Canadian rock climber Allison Vest had me saying “YES!” the entire time, given its broad applicability in our society.
“Not validating women about subjective [issues] might not seem that important, but the social environment created by that is. It’s an environment that elevates and protects men purely based on their abilities.”
🎧 The Alabama Ruling That Could Stop Families From Having Kids: This episode of The Daily is a MUST. Two percent of American children are born through IVF, including my most perfect daughter. I have so much to say about this whole topic, but I’ll just leave you with this pic. One is NOT like the other.
👋🏽 - Cris
SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK FOR THIS ONE!