Some bubbling thoughts that came up for me in reflecting on this:
For me, I guess I try to take comfort in the fact that if you only ever speak and write about what you’re already confident in expressing, then you’re basically just reinforcing that comfort, but you don’t expand your current capacity. But, when you’re in that context of truly wrestling with what feels super out of reach, then you’re actually in the process of real learning.
The awkward edge is a good one to be in even if it definitely doesn’t feel like it. But, I think trying to express what’s complex with others (writing and conversation) instead of grappling at it alone, really matters. The right questions, the right readers and listeners, can actually unlock something you can’t on your own.
In many ways, a big part of the process is probably straight up learning how to be in that awkward edge space, while not judging yourself, and not running from it because it doesn’t feel good. Building the tolerance muscle. I think the more a person can sit in that discomfort, and work through that process, the closer they can actually get to making progress on what feels super fuzzy in the head.
Just like the writing process, it’s an iterative thing. At first, super fuzzy, clumsy, and clunky, then with more attempts, feedback loops, patience, you can access what’s inside you with more ease, clarity, precision, and refine it.
I do think you pointed to something super key: “I still love learning, but am often frustrated by what I perceive as the limits of my intellect.”
That perception that a limit of expression means a limit of intellect. Thought is so nonlinear and associative. It’s hard to translate with language, whether you’re communicating through writing or speaking. Even the deepest thinkers can be slow at articulation or just straight up clumsy. I’m reminded of that whenever I watch or listen to interviews with people I know are smart, but stumble through their words. And if we’re talking about communicating through writing, well, writing isn’t natural, so it’s already inherently full of endless friction.
Language itself is so lossy and ambiguous. And complexity can really be such a cognitive overload, so if you’re holding so much already, trying to also find the right way to say things with a low bandwidth, it's going to feel like a grind.
I do think metaphors and analogies are so helpful for ideas that feel abstract or complex! Generally, starting with images and sensations might seem weird, but I think it can help make space for tough concepts to slowly emerge. Loosens the idea up.
Also, witnessing language acquisition in real time IS so cool. I studied linguistics in school, even though that's in the past, I still marvel at how thought, language, and expression work, especially in children. Your daughter really is a good reminder of what the learning and development process is organically supposed to look like. Messy.
Cris, you’re being way too hard on yourself! You’re brilliant. The fact that you recognize learning new things can be difficult is a sign of your intelligence. I went thru a similar experience during our MBA program when I thought I wasn’t smart enough to grasp the concepts bc I didn’t immediately understand them, and then realized with patience and practice, I very much can understand them and almost anything. It’s one of my most valuable takeaways from Duke.
I didn’t grow up knowing all of the fancy buzzwords used by the finance/tech bros either. But, I believe I can understand these concepts and that helps me flip the narrative so their jargon no longer intimidates me. They codify concepts with jargon to sound smart, but the logic behind them is learnable. You got this!!!
Oof, yeah. This hits!
Some bubbling thoughts that came up for me in reflecting on this:
For me, I guess I try to take comfort in the fact that if you only ever speak and write about what you’re already confident in expressing, then you’re basically just reinforcing that comfort, but you don’t expand your current capacity. But, when you’re in that context of truly wrestling with what feels super out of reach, then you’re actually in the process of real learning.
The awkward edge is a good one to be in even if it definitely doesn’t feel like it. But, I think trying to express what’s complex with others (writing and conversation) instead of grappling at it alone, really matters. The right questions, the right readers and listeners, can actually unlock something you can’t on your own.
In many ways, a big part of the process is probably straight up learning how to be in that awkward edge space, while not judging yourself, and not running from it because it doesn’t feel good. Building the tolerance muscle. I think the more a person can sit in that discomfort, and work through that process, the closer they can actually get to making progress on what feels super fuzzy in the head.
Just like the writing process, it’s an iterative thing. At first, super fuzzy, clumsy, and clunky, then with more attempts, feedback loops, patience, you can access what’s inside you with more ease, clarity, precision, and refine it.
I do think you pointed to something super key: “I still love learning, but am often frustrated by what I perceive as the limits of my intellect.”
That perception that a limit of expression means a limit of intellect. Thought is so nonlinear and associative. It’s hard to translate with language, whether you’re communicating through writing or speaking. Even the deepest thinkers can be slow at articulation or just straight up clumsy. I’m reminded of that whenever I watch or listen to interviews with people I know are smart, but stumble through their words. And if we’re talking about communicating through writing, well, writing isn’t natural, so it’s already inherently full of endless friction.
Language itself is so lossy and ambiguous. And complexity can really be such a cognitive overload, so if you’re holding so much already, trying to also find the right way to say things with a low bandwidth, it's going to feel like a grind.
I do think metaphors and analogies are so helpful for ideas that feel abstract or complex! Generally, starting with images and sensations might seem weird, but I think it can help make space for tough concepts to slowly emerge. Loosens the idea up.
Also, witnessing language acquisition in real time IS so cool. I studied linguistics in school, even though that's in the past, I still marvel at how thought, language, and expression work, especially in children. Your daughter really is a good reminder of what the learning and development process is organically supposed to look like. Messy.
Cris, you’re being way too hard on yourself! You’re brilliant. The fact that you recognize learning new things can be difficult is a sign of your intelligence. I went thru a similar experience during our MBA program when I thought I wasn’t smart enough to grasp the concepts bc I didn’t immediately understand them, and then realized with patience and practice, I very much can understand them and almost anything. It’s one of my most valuable takeaways from Duke.
I didn’t grow up knowing all of the fancy buzzwords used by the finance/tech bros either. But, I believe I can understand these concepts and that helps me flip the narrative so their jargon no longer intimidates me. They codify concepts with jargon to sound smart, but the logic behind them is learnable. You got this!!!
You described also my experience as a retiree in the search for words as a bilingual person and the desire to keep on learning. Thank you Cristi
A love for learning is one of the most precious things to me. Reading this made me think of my mom: https://www.nextsmallthings.com/p/a-love-for-learning